Eat Like the Ninja for Only $5 a Day

And thus began The New Cruelty in which the author, in a foolish and poorly planned attempt to cast off the guise of Lardy McFatarse, did embark upon a new fitness regime involving walking to work and taking up the gentlemanly art of Escrima, or, for the layman, hitting people with sticks.

Naturally, due to poor planning, he did embark on the project on a screamingly hot day, leaving him with a new name - Sir Chafey of Welt.

Whoever is responsible for the Grease Megamix will have their name jotted on my shit list. From getting home at 7 until just now the interminable warblings of Olivia and John have been rattling my windows as someone in the block played the damn album at least twice in a row. When I have enough money to buy a place I'm going to have it sound proofed so I don't have to put up with someone else's bad taste again.

It must be wearing my Pollyanna glasses but I do see a silver lining in spending a small fortune insulating my place against sound. When I do eventually snap and start killing coeds, at least I can locate my torture dungeon in my own house, rather than having to commute to a different location whenever I get the hankering to kill someone.